


wind storms

by volke (shuukei)



Category: Fire Emblem: If | Fire Emblem: Fates
Genre: Brother Feels, Character Death, Gen, sort of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-09
Updated: 2016-03-09
Packaged: 2018-05-25 17:35:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,800
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6204499
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shuukei/pseuds/volke
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>That day, he lost not one, but two people precious to him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	wind storms

**Author's Note:**

> suzuhi - calm fire  
> suzukaze - calm wind
> 
> suzuhi is my own fanmade name for saizou !
> 
> MASSIVE SPOILERS FOR FE: FATES, READ AT YOUR OWN RISK

He remembers it like it was yesterday.

To Saizou, it might as well have been.

It was a night when they were young - children, at the least, and shinobi-in-training, at the most. It was his own hearing that caught the shrill sound of steel dragging on steel, and he woke up Saizou - then, Suzuhi - to say so, something along the lines of ‘Brother, I think something is wrong.’

Suzuhi runs out of bed, and Suzukaze follows, as it has always been.

They find the noise to have come from their father’s room, but before he could see what had transpired, Suzuhi had turned him around and told him to go find one of the adults. Suzukaze does, because if his brother feels like he shouldn’t see, then he trusts him.

He does, inevitably, find out that their father has died. And he watches the dynamics of the clan change - Suzuhi begins to train harder. He changes, and only Suzukaze notices. Maybe it’s because they’re twins - but it’s most likely that it’s because he knows his brother, that they were close and as Suzuhi begins to drift away, they both become individual people. Perhaps it was for the best.

That day, he lost not one, but two people precious to him.

( Suzuhi becomes Saizou the Fifth. Suzukaze stays. )

 

\--

 

Suzukaze leaves on a lengthy mission out of their home. He is to deliver something to the Hoshidan capital - and as he is one of the fastest shinobi in Igasato, he is asked to.

When he returns, something has changed. Saizou has a scar on his face that had not been there when he left, and when he brings that up to him, his brother merely brushes it off as if it were nothing. Frowning, Suzukaze relents, but he does visit one of the healers and asks them on how to properly care for it.

He knows that they are not very close anymore - sometimes, he feels like they are strangers, even, but he knows that he still loves his brother, and that Saizou still cares for him.

Suzukaze leaves his brother a note, a simple ‘get well soon’ and instructions for how to take care of wound remnants and scars.

Saizou reads it, and throws it away. He cannot face his brother now.

 

\--

 

In due time, what remained of their fragile relationship is shattered. Soon after Saizou returns home wounded, Suzukaze is called upon by King Sumeragi to escort him, along with many others, to the Nohrian city of Cheve.

Suzukaze sees soldiers around the city - perhaps more than necessary, and this leaves him with doubt in his mind. But he holds his tongue, for he knows not of Nohrian politics.

This, in turn, proves to be a grave error. King Sumeragi falls in the wake of the Nohrian King’s betrayal, and he is powerless to stop the young Prince Kamui’s capture. No one faults him; they do not know of what thoughts passed his mind - but no one needs to. Suzukaze has always been good at blaming himself - since their father, since Suzuhi.

He returns home to Igasato. People think of his shame as displeasure for his failure - telling him that he could not have stopped the assassins, couldn’t dream of facing King Garon. But he knows - and that is all that matters.

Saizou does not come to check on him, but perhaps it is Suzukaze that never opens the door.

 

\--

 

It culminates to a point - a breaking point. Suzukaze was born with too much love - too much faith and hope and love. He could never face the world alone like he has been pushed to do - has been trying to do. His heart aches with every enemy he must kill, but he has never shown something as wrong, and therefore - none believe it so.

They write his loyalty off to his duty, his self-sacrificial nature as something that has always been. They don’t know, but how could he blame him, when he has never said anything or insinuated otherwise. After all, while he considers himself a plain shinobi, he’s likely one of the best.

For someone who wears his heart on his sleeve, he’s rather capable of keeping people from seeing what he doesn’t want them to see. If this means his brother as well - so be it.

He has never matched up with his brother, and he never expects to. This is, unfortunately, the end of his train of thought.

His fingers grip onto Prince Kamui’s wrist tightly, green eyes flicking to the chasm below and making eye contact with the glowing gem on the other side of the cliffs. If he could hit that with a shuriken, it would save both of them - but he does not trust himself. If he missed, they’d both fall to their deaths, and he knows for sure that one of them needs to be alive.

He makes his choice.

Suzukaze is half off the edge of the cliff, free hand the only thing keeping him still there and he pushes off - uses the momentum to throw Prince Kamui back onto the ledge, and he hears a shocked, choked gasp, but he closes his eyes before he can see the aftermath.

He falls.

 

\--

 

Kamui is the one to break it to Saizou.

“I’m sorry -” he starts, a truly apologetic look on his face.

Saizou stops him, a hand raised. “Forget it.” He tries his best to hide the bitterness in his voice.

His chest hurts.

 

\--

 

Other people talk to him too. Orochi, Oboro, Hinata, even Lady Sakura. But he brushes them all off - none of them can understand the pain of losing Suzukaze like he does. He feels like he himself has died - like he is nothing, anymore. Without Suzukaze, who was the light of his life, his most important person - everything seems hopeless. Yet, he is bound by honor and duty, and he cannot give up now. No matter how much he wants to, he is the Fifth Saizou and the royal retainer of Lord Ryouma.

With Lord Ryouma, it is easy to deflect the remarks. His lord knows not to press matters, because he has his own way of dealing with things. What his lord doesn’t know is that he doesn’t - he never deals with these, never lets them out. They build and build and build until he cracks - and he hasn’t, yet, because he has signed for all of these misfortunes lately, but not _this one_. Not his baby brother.

Kagerou stands next to him, in front of the memorial engraved with Suzukaze’s name, and the years of his life. It reads, _Loyal son, friend and twin. Too cruel was the world._

Her hand brushes against him, and he does not feel the strangeness that has come since their separation, but it is a welcome source of grounding. He was not the only one that lost a little brother that day.

They were, and are, still a family of their own. Kagerou, Saizou and Suzukaze … To think there is only two now is … It feels incomplete, incomparable to prior days.

 

\--

 

Saizou carves a wooden figurine of Suzukaze, of his delicate features and careful stance. Kagerou paints instead, flowers surrounding a smiling brother, petals caught in his hair. They switch, and try to ease the aching in their hearts from the loss of one of their own.

Their days, when not in battle, are spent sitting across from each other at the fire, together in silence.

 

\--

 

Saizou makes more and more visits to the cliffs from which his brother fell, trying not to imagine that his body is still lying at the bottom of the chasm. He paces, originally near the base of the cliff, but as the visits grow more and more frequent, he makes his way up to the edge of the cliff. He can see where it broke off, can see the darkness underneath, and when his eyes catch onto the dull remnants of a Mokushu bomb, he feels his heart sink.

It wasn’t out of duty. Saizou knows that, _has_ known that, because he knows his brother, he means the world to him. He knows that his brother is selfless and self-sacrificial, but he knows that his brother is also intelligent. To think he missed something like that would be tarnishing his brother’s name, and he would not ever.

But he stands at the cliff’s edge, wondering how his brother looked as he fell - wonders what he thought about, and what he felt. His brother had a bleeding heart - was too kind, too generous. He was never fit to be a shinobi, and it was only at their father’s pressing did he follow in their footsteps.

He closes his eyes, and imagines Suzukaze’s face. He remembers like it was yesterday - it might as well have been yesterday, because he sees it so very cleanly. Learning of his brother’s death, the subsequent, crushing feeling of losing half of him, and then the exhaustion and apathy setting in … and then creating his memorial and mourning with Kagerou …

The ledge crumbles beneath him, and as he falls, he sees a blur come towards him. Before he is lost, fingers grab tightly, almost suffocatingly, at his wrist, and he looks up into the familiar face of his twin, thinner than he remembers, but _there_. A scar crawls from his jaw through his cheek, just missing his eye. He is thinner, but no less handsome, and his hair is longer.

For once, Saizou fears - he fears that his brother will follow the same path he had months ago, and as he pushes off of the ledge, he wishes so much that he could change the past. But Suzukaze proves him wrong, as he always does, and a flick of his wrist sends a shuriken hurtling towards the Mokushu explosive, blasting the both of them back onto the ledge of the cliff.

They land with Saizou facing Suzukaze’s back, and he watches his brother stand up, brushing the dirt and dust off of his clothes, before turning to face the red haired man.

This makes Saizou jump to his feet, fingers running over the anatomy of Suzukaze’s face, making sure he’s real. His brother gives a breathy laugh, and he feels his heart clench painfully, relief and joy and every other emotion rushing through his veins.

“Broth - …” He starts, before Saizou pulls him into a tight hug, arms around his back. Suzukaze stops for a moment, freezing at the sudden show of emotion from his brother, before his mouth spreads into a watery smile, and he follows.

With his fingers tight in the back of Saizou’s shirt, arms wrapped around the larger frame, Suzukaze buries his face into his brother’s shoulder, trying not to cry.

In return, Saizou simply whispers - “ _I love you._ ”

**Author's Note:**

> i love suzukaze and saizou. hit me up @suzukazetxt on twitter. please cry with me


End file.
